Driving with tears in your eyes, not a good idea

So, last night I had an epiphany and a slight panic attack. I realized that I could probably count the times I've had sex in the past two years on my fingers without needing any more hands to help. This is what my life's become. A sexual beast that's been imprisoned. Woe is me and all that shit. So, I ran out of the house sobbing hysterically with my husband on my heels, jumped on my motorcycle, and took off. He yelled after me to be careful. God watches out for children and fools. I somehow missed the ramp for the highway, which was probably a good thing considering I could barely see at 50 mph with my visor fogging up and tears in my eyes. I could see myself losing it, and realized my children need their mother. So I toned it down and rode the streets at a sedate 35 mph, calmed the beast, and slunk home before midnight. Is it wrong to have to convince yourself "you can do this"? You can kill part of yourself and still survive. I have two beautiful boys who I refuse to make come from a broken home. So, I guess I need to tell my shrink I'm losin it. Is it wrong to want sex from your own husband? He told me in therapy that he's been denying me sex for all these years to punish me. What the fuck? What a waste, WHAT A FUCKING WASTE!!!